Long Day

Well, my sins seem to have caught up to me. What started out as a good day turned into a not so good day. What I can say is that I am not surprised at all at what happened. I know I am flawed and have wanted to address those issues, but was reluctant to do so. Once you are in a pattern it is easy to stay in that pattern. I pray that today's events will be the catalyst for changes I need to make. I have a strong foundation of friends, a mentor who is God given, a family that does love me, even though I might not think it, and most importantly, I have a Savior that loves me and forgives me and will stand along side me at all points through this new journey.

I stand here today and I proclaim that I am a new person. I am ready to step up take responsibility, and be the man of God I am called to be. Not for my parents, not for my friends, but for me. It is going to be hard, and I am going to suffer, but I will come out of this stronger, and better equipped to do what God has called me to do. I am standing on the edge looking out, and I will be honest in saying I am terrified. I do know that no matter how scared I might be, God is there and he will not let any harm come to me. So if you are reading this, please say a prayer for me, because more than anything else, I know that prayer will go along way.

inadequate

It is almost 3 in the morning, and I am awake and can't sleep. I haven't posted in a while because I have been busy and lazy to be honest. Summer Wesley starts tomorrow, and I will finally have some sort of a schedule, and I am looking forward to that. As Summer Wesley starts up again, I will be able to keep doing one of the things I love most. This past year, God has really shown me glimpses of what he has in store for me. I am so incredibly excited for God's plan in my life, and I feel that I am starting down that path as we speak. I feel though, as I stand on the precipice of this new journey and look out at what amazing opportunities God is laying for me, that I will do nothing but stumble and fail. Why is it that when God has given me so much and for once everything from my faith, to my music, to my personal life seem to be unfolding for the better I feel that I don't deserve any of it. I see all the possibilities and all I think is "why me? why not someone better? I can't do this, you know I will fail." As I start to spend time in the word though, I am comforted by the fact that other people that God used for great things felt the same way I do. I am also blessed to have amazing friends that see more in me than I do, and are willing to smack me around to get me on the right track. Yes I feel inadequate, but that is how God wants it I think, so that when I do achieve great things, it will be because of his amazing Glory.